Yesterday was VA day for Bill. He had a check up scheduled and was hoping to have a mole removed. In order to not have to get there an hour ahead of time, I went with him, so he could get out for his appointment and I drove to the 'remote' parking lot in the next county where the shuttle bus picked me up and took me back to the hospital.
Why don't old men bathe?
Now this was a wonderful drive, it was about 80 out side, and the driver did not even have a fan going on the van. I was a little warm, so I asked, politely, could you please turn on a fan or air or something. He did. Now the van was not at all full, so we waited as it filled up, an elderly gent with a cane was having trouble maneuvering in the bus aisle, but managed to make his way to the back of the bus, where I had seated myself, taking the last seat. There were three empty seats before mine, and this yahoo sat ON ME. I was trying to move but there was no where to go, so I moved across the aisle and sat between a middle aged woman, and an elderly, well dressed man. Every few seconds I got a whiff of something unpleasant, when I realized the nicely dressed man was not nicely groomed. When the bus finally stopped and the nicely dressed man got up, it was all I could do to remain conscious, the smell about finished me off. Luckily he was not going in the same direction as I was.
On the drive over a woman close to the front of the van was talking about the storms from earlier in the week, I think an old boyfriend of hers had been on the news talking about how the storms had damaged his property. She was happy about this since, I guess, he stabbed her in the head. I think, that is why he's her ex boyfriend.
Why do old men wear shorts?
Well I joined Bill in the waiting room. And here is where the fun really starts. We sat an waited, watching people come and go and complain about the wait, I mean really what else do they have to do?
I was reading my book, and as I glanced up the fellow seated across from us, who was wearing denim shorts, crossed his leg. Well I didn't really want to or need to see that far up his leg, but there it was. I quickly went back to my book, constantly reminding myself, don't look up, don't look up.
We were having quite a lot of fun watching the cleaning guy at the women's restroom. Seriously he was there for about 30 minutes. I had my eye on him, because, well 3 cups of coffee and two hours, I sort of needed to use the facilities, but he was busy, so I waited.
Why don't old men wear undies?
Now in comes a very young version of Santa, or more like Jerry Garcia, whew the hair, with a rainbow Tye dyed shirt on, and wouldn't you just know, denim shorts. He sat down, and then moved and then sat again, and was called in to the clinic. Soon he came out, and as luck would have it, he found a seat about four chairs to my right, and why I was watching him, I have no idea, but there I was watching. Now as he sat down, his pants were a little low, and his, pretty much his entire hind part was bare.
Well finally Bill goes in for his blood pressure and the questions about .... Do you smoke. Are you depressed? Seriously, why would I be depressed, my only choice at this point for health care is this system where I have to go a half hour before my app't and then wait for like an hour before I get in. I'm old, I am on SS, and don't really have any money, and few options. Why in the world would I be depressed.!
Well we're getting close to the end, we're sitting there, I'm still reading, watching for the guy to finish cleaning the restroom, he did finish, but he's back, I don't know what he's doing in there. A very nice looking and tall person sits across from us, yep, he's got on denim shorts. He is sitting like most guys do with legs spread out very wide, and as I glance up from my book, well there it is. I can see clear to, well, China. Now I used to use this phrase with my kids when what ever they were wearing was a little too revealing, but this guy, I mean. You could see China, Indonesia, well the whole continent of Asia for that matter. Again, I quickly went back to my book. Seriously, commando at your age, YUCK.
Well this kind of ends the fun part of the day for me, Bill saw his doctor, did not get his mole removed and we get to ride the shuttle back to the next county so we can get the truck and go home.
I still love the VA, they do a great job, and I respect the doctors and nurses who endure a lot to care for these wonderful veterans, but people please. Take a bath, put on underwear and don't wear shorts.
Now put some clothes on. .................